Texting is an incredibly convenient way to stay connected, but it can also be used for so much more. Sending dominant and submissive texts allows you to explore your kinks and fantasies, build tension and intimacy, and take your sex life to thrilling new heights—all from the convenience of your phone.

In this complete guide, you’ll learn the right way to dominate your partner through text, from getting consent and starting off slow to ramping up the intensity. You’ll also get dozens of ready-made examples for every flavour of domination, from caring to sadistic.

So let’s start at the beginning…

Rule #1: Make Sure Your Partner is Comfortable

This is the golden rule when it comes to any kind of power play: you need consent. That means ensuring your partner is enthusiastically on board every step of the way.

Spring intense domination texts on someone out of the blue, and things are bound to get awkward. Make them uncomfortable enough, and you could really violate their trust. So how do you avoid that?

Choose the Right Time

Timing is everything when sending these kinds of texts. Even if your partner is into it in theory, catching them at the wrong moment could ruin the mood.

Save the dom texts until you know they have privacy and headspace to appreciate them. Sending something intense while they’re in a meeting or dinner with family is a recipe for disaster!

Of course, catching them at just the right horny moment can make your texts hit even harder. Learn to read the signs of when your partner might be especially receptive.

Get Clear Consent

Before sending anything overtly dom, have a conversation about limits and expectations. Do they even want sexual texts from you at all? How dom is too dom for their taste? Getting clear consent ensures you stay within your comfort zone.

It also removes the awkwardness around responding. When you have pre-negotiated consent, your partner knows it’s okay to text back with enthusiasm!

Agree on a Safeword

Even with consent, unexpected things can sometimes make your partner uncomfortable. That’s why having a safeword is so important, even over text.

Agree beforehand that if one of you texts this word (common ones include “red,” “pineapple,” etc.) the dom/sub play stops immediately, no questions asked. This way you can stretch limits while always giving your partner an out.

Check In Regularly

Don’t just set it and forget it when you get the green light to start domming your partner via text. Check in about how they’re feeling about your dom texts from time to time.

Getting specific feedback allows you to fine-tune your approach and avoid going too far over the line. This builds trust and ensures you both get the absolute max pleasure from your sexy text exchanges.

Rule #2: Start Off Slow

Once you have consent, don’t go zero to 100 right off the bat! Even if you both feel ready to dive into intense dom/sub play, taking things slowly allows you to:

• Test the waters safely
• Build comfort and trust
• Learn each other’s preferences
• Create anticipation and tension

Imagine getting slapped in the face with “get naked, slut” right off the bat from someone you’ve never sexted before. Shocking! Even if you’re into it, that would be jarring and awkward without any warmup to establish baseline comfort.

Instead, send some milder texts at first to see how they respond:

• I’d love to get a little rougher in bed…what do you think?
• Seeing you in those stockings makes me want to grab your hips and take control!
• Something about you makes me crave dominating you 😉 What’s the most submissive thing you’ve ever done?

See if they flirt back or reciprocate with their own suggestive texts. Once you notice enthusiasm, you can start gradually upping the ante. Which brings us to our next rule…

Rule #3: Ramp Up The Intensity

Once you get positive responses from those initial texts, resist the urge to immediately bombard them with your most intense dom material.

Building up slowly allows you both to:

• Get more comfortable with this new dynamic
• Build anticipation and hunger
• Communicate desires and limits
• Synchronize your levels of dom/sub energy

For example, after getting a flirty or enthusiastic response to a mild text like “I’d love to tie you up sometime,” you might respond:

“I can’t stop thinking about having you helpless and moaning while I kiss every inch of that sexy body…”

Then based on their reaction, either pull back or gradually escalate over future texts.

This stair-step approach prevents shock and discomfort while allowing the erotic tension to crescendo at its own pace.

Timing Matters

Notice how receptive they are to your dom texts varies depending on mood, setting, hormones etc. When your partner’s especially turned on, you may be able to push into edgier territory:

“Mmm I bet you’re soaked right now, aren’t you? I love imagining all the ways I’m going to wreck that perfect little pussy tonight…”

While the same text sent when they’re distracted or not in a sexual headspace might just annoy them. Learn to read contexts and their responses to ramp things up or down accordingly.

Talk About It

Don’t rely purely on text reactions to gauge comfort levels—have real conversations too. Ask what they liked about your recent dom texts, what worked less well, and how they’re feeling about exploring this dynamic.

Regular check-ins ensure you tailor your approach optimally and avoid crossing any invisible boundaries. This helps your dom/subtext exchanges evolve to maximum pleasure and intimacy.

Rule #4: Explore Different Flavors of Domination

Once you get into the swing of steadily escalating your domination over text, start branching out to find the specific flavors that appeal most to both of you.

There are endless varieties, with lots of overlap. Common archetypes include:

Caring/Guiding Dom – Nurturing yet firmly in control, like a teacher, mentor or parent. E.g. “Be a good girl and send me a naughty picture” or “I’m going to train that pussy to orgasm on command.”

Sensual Dom – Dominating in a loving, passionate way. E.g. “The way you surrender your pleasure to me is so beautiful…” Here u can Read Our Bdsm Guide

Humiliating Dom – Degrading and shaming their partner for erotic purposes. E.g. “Lick the floor clean for me, slave.”

Primal Dom – Channeling raw animalistic aggression and lust. E.g. “I’m going to throw you on the bed, rip those panties off, and claim your body as mine.”

Don’t feel limited by labels though—let your unique dom/sub dynamic evolve organically. Send texts across different archetypes and see what resonates most powerfully for both of you.

For example, a nurturing, caring dom text might do wonders to relax them into a vulnerable headspace. Then follow up later with something more explicitly humiliating or objectifying while they’re fully immersed in sub-space.

The key is paying close attention to how they respond so you can discover your own distinct flavor of dom/sub texting alchemy.

Rule #5: Know What You Want Out of Dom/Sub Texts

There are a few different ways you can engage in dom/sub play over text:

As a Form of Dirty Talk – Send dom and sub texts back and forth to build sexual tension and turn each other on. But save the actual power play for the bedroom.

To Direct In-Person Submission – Give them tasks, rules, and commands via text that they must obey in real life. E.g. sending them to work in a remote-controlled vibrator or making them get dolled up to your exact specifications before a date.

Immersive Roleplay Scene – Have extended back-and-forth textual exchanges where you fully inhabit your dom and sub roles, elaborate on scenarios, negotiate scenes etc.

Simple Dom/Sub Sexting – Sext as you normally would, except with a dom/sub power dynamic. E.g. they narrate and beg while you command and degrade.

Each approach requires a different texting rhythm and style. Do you want to co-write an elaborate ongoing story? Send one-off dirty dom directions? Or just incorporate some power play flavour into everyday sexts?

Discussing expectations can prevent confusion down the line if one of you treats it as immersive roleplay while the other thinks it’s just naughty foreplay talk.

Scheduling Works Wonders

For deeper dom/sub scenes, schedule text sessions instead of starting spontaneously. This gives you both privacy to fully embody roles and prevents interruptions from killing the momentum.

Agree on a set time where you’ll both be available and in the right headspace. Then simply let the dom/sub scene unfold, without distractions, for as long as you please!

Rule #6: Maintain Control as the Dom

As the dom, the scenario progresses on YOUR terms. Without the cues provided by body language and tone of voice, this can be tricky over text. Here are some tips…

Insist on Clear Responses

After sending a dom instruction, don’t let them get away with a lazy or ambiguous reply like “Mhm” or “Maybe.”

Demand clear confirmation that they understand and will obey. This reinforces your authority and their submission.

E.g. after texting “Tonight you’re going to give me a full body massage and then lick my pussy until I cum” follow up with “Understood, slut?”

And don’t let them weasel out with another wishy-washy response! Be firm about getting clear confirmation.

Troubleshoot Weak Responses

Sometimes their responses may be hesitant, half-hearted, or lukewarm. This kills the momentum!

There are a few possible reasons:

They’re busy/distracted – Catch them while multitasking and you won’t get their full dom/sub attention. Wait for better timing.

They’re feeling awkward/unsure – Check if your last texts pushed too far past their comfort zone. Reign things back or have an out-of-dynamic chat about expectations.

They struggle to be submissive over text – Some subs have trouble letting go via text without stronger sensory cues to put them in an obedient headspace. You may need to stick to in-person domination.

However, creative troubleshooting can often get things back on track, like sending symbolic gif “reactions” to reinforce your authority or describing imaginary punishments in detail if they hesitate.

Judge the situation case-by-case when you notice weak responses and correct course. Don’t let it throw you out of your dom headspace.

Consider Alternatives Like Audio or Video

For some partners (especially bratty subs that require a firm hand) dominating solely over text just doesn’t provide the intensity needed to achieve true domination and submission.

In those cases, add in occasional voice messages, video clips, or phone/FaceTime sessions. This gives you more sensory input to leverage. Hearing that tremble in their voice as they apologize and beg forgiveness can be powerfully satisfying!

Ready-Made Domination Texts For Every Flavor of BDSM

Below you’ll find dozens of examples for various flavors of domination texting to either use verbatim or adapt and remix to your own dom/sub dynamic.

Have fun with it! Notice what types of domination texting hits the perfect erotic notes for you and your partner.

Sensual Domination

Sensually dominating texts focus on expressing love and affirmation while still clearly owning and directing your partner’s pleasure and obedience.

Examples

• The way your body surrenders so beautifully when I claim you is so intoxicating…
• I cherish the gift of your submission, my love. Serving your Dom gets you soaked doesn’t it, darling?
• Looking into your eyes as you whimper and climax for me is the ultimate rush. I want to watch you come undone like that for hours…
• Whenever I pin your wrists down and make you take every inch of this dick, the way your pussy clamps down and creams all over me…fuck, it’s pure ecstasy.
• Playing with your limits and bringing you to the peak of pleasure is how I show my devotion, pet. Now hold still and let me worship that incredible body…
• I love teasing that slick little cunt until you’re begging so sweetly to cum for me. Maybe if you ask nicely enough I’ll even let you ;). Such a good girl…

Humiliating Domination

Humiliation involves emotionally “bringing low” your partner with degrading remarks, objectification, embarrassment etc. Take care here—this is a challenging form of domination to skillfully execute both safely and erotically. Check-in frequently with their comfort levels.

Examples

• Kneel down and bark for me like the sex-crazed animal you are, slut.
• Shut up, get over here and suck my fucking cock already—that’s all you’re good for anyway.
• Look how wet servicing me gets you…dripping all over the fucking floor you messy bitch. You live to be used by me don’t you?
• Slap those tits for me nice and hard. That’s right slut, punish those big udders for being such a desperate fucking tease.
• Shut the fuck up, all I want to hear out of your mouth are moans while I wreck this pussy and blow my load. Understand, bitch?
• Shake that ass and beg like the desperate little slut you are. Maybe if you entertain me well enough I’ll let you cum tonight. Maybe.

Primal Domination

Whether due to sheer horniness or the primal rush of BDSM power play, dom texts in this archetype drip with raw carnal hunger and aggression. This makes your partner feel intensely desired while also dominated.

Examples

• I’m going to tear those clothes off with my teeth, throw you on the bed and ravish your incredible fucking body until you’re screaming and gushing around my cock. Just thinking about it has me rock hard already…
• Imagining you walking through my door in those sexy new stilettos and watching you drop to your knees…fuck, I think I just stained my slacks. Be ready to take this rock hard cock deep when I get home, slut.
• I’m starving to get my mouth all over those big beautiful tits and nipples. I just want to devour every inch of you, turn you upside down and pound this aching cock into oblivion.
• Do you have any idea what your sexy little outfit today has done to me? I can barely stop myself from throwing you against this wall, ripping those tights open and stuffing you full of dick right here and now, whoever might wander by…
• I’m going to grab those hips and impale you on every throbbing inch of this dick. Eyes rolling back, screaming and gushing all over me as I fill you to bursting…fuck yes. Daddy needs to bust so fucking bad, baby. Your holes are going to milk this cock dry tonight.

Bondage Domination

Restraining and rendering them helpless is a classic form domination. Play up bondage scenarios with vivid description that leaves them aching to act out their rope fantasies IRL as soon as possible.

Examples

• Tonight I’m going to truss you up like a helpless little fuckdoll and spend hours teasing those big nipples, edging that dripping cunt, spanking this perfect ass cherry red…you’re going to look so fucking good when I’m done with you, begging and bucking against the restraints in desperate need.
• I need those huge tits wrapped tight in rope TONIGHT. Watching you whimper as the cords bite into that soft flesh, your chest inflating for air….fuck me. Maybe If you beg sweetly enough I’ll press a vibe right on that swollen clit after…
• Damn, thinking about tying you down spread eagle to the bed, blindfolded and edging the fuck out of that pussy with my mouth and toys for hours…got me leaking pre cum like crazy over here. I’m gonna devour and wreck you, slut.
• Those thigh highs and sheer lingerie are getting shredded first thing when I walk through this door. Then I’m going to bind up those big gorgeous tits and pretty little wrists so tight you already start dripping for me. Teasing my helpless little fuck toy for hours sound good, princess…? 😈
• Handcuffed face down ass up on the bed when I get home, wearing nothing but that slutty collar I bought you. Non-negotiable. I’m going to flog that ass into a whimpering mess of need before this cock claims what’s mine.

Caring/Nurturing Domination

As the dom, it’s your responsibility to guide your sub to reach their highest potential in serving you. Frame orders and punishment as “for their own good” – out of your care and commitment rather than just pure selfish desire.

Examples

• My good little one…you’ve pleased me so well lately. I believe such progress deserves a small treat, doesn’t it pet? You may pick any sex toy you desire and I’ll use it to edge that pretty pussy all night my love. You’re so perfect when you obey me fully…
• I expect nothing less than your very best at work today little one, even if it means long hours. I’ll be expecting a grateful tongue bathing these toes the moment you walk through my door tonight either way, however. Be ready my love. Make Daddy proud.
• You’re not allowed to cum today darling, no matter how badly that pretty pussy aches and drips. You’re going to be such an obedient little toy

Sensually Dominant Texts

• The hottest thing is feeling you cum while I’m holding you in my arms.
• Tell me how much you had fun the night before.
• I love giving you a light choke, but I never want to hurt you.
• Tonight, I’m going to blindfold you.
• How much do you want to win my approval? Learn how to satiate your partner’s lustful desires.
• Later, I’m going to sit on your face. How to perch on a person’s face.
• You’re going to soak me up until I’m completely soaked. This one requires a vagina to be effective. Get: Tips for eating pussy.
• Later on, you’re going to ask me out.
• once we arrive at home. You will strip off as soon as possible. The second step involves donning a blindfold. The third…After you put on your blindfold, I’ll tell you the third thing.

Texts on Bondage Domination

• I get so excited when I see you cuffed and helpless.I’m sure you enjoy it as well.
• I’m going to take control of you by tying your ankles and wrists to the bed.
• It’s so exciting to watch you struggle while wearing handcuffs.
• I just want to put you in a straightjacket sometimes.
• I’m going to get you a collar and force you to wear it.
• You must wear a chastity device going forward.
• Even though you may not like them, you’re going to wear nipple clamps during our next sexual encounter. Discover Ideas for nipple play.
• This is how things are going to unfold tonight. I’m going to blindfold you first. I’m going to tie your wrist to the bed after that. I will finally eat you alive in the slowest, most excruciating manner imaginable.
• I will only let you speak to me tonight if you are on your knees.

Sadistic or Embarrassing Texts

• Tonight, tears will be streaming down your face.
• Give me a photo of your bosom. Right now.
• I just need to whip you and look at your rosy cheeks.
• You are a complete moron.
• You have no value. Are you aware of that?
• I sometimes want to parade you down the street in nothing but your underwear.
• Tell me how foolish and unworthy you are.
• Nudely dress. Apply some lipstick to your chest and write SLUT. Next, email me a photo.
• Put on the underwear I got you, and email me a photo.
• You are going to spend the entire day wearing your collar.
• Own up to it. The only way you can turn on is if I make fun of you.
• To me, you are just a sexual toy.
• Later on, I’m going to make you cry.
• How would you feel about me cumming on your face and then putting you on display for my friends?
• Recently, you’ve been such a good sub. You’re so good that you deserve ten lashes!